Is someone you know a compulsive liar? Or a pathological one?
You may find the difference on the internet about compulsive vs pathological liar. Either ways, how do you feel when you are lied to? Finding out the difference between the two doesn’t seem to be the first thought in your mind.
There are people who lie about everything for their own interest. It could be to gain sympathy, hide their mistakes or simply to hide the truth about themselves. These people have less or no regard about anyone else. They do not think how it will affect someone when the truth is out. Long term practice of such kind of lying makes it their second nature.
Come to think of it, there is marginal difference between compulsive and a pathological liar. Both lie to serve their own interest and then it just becomes a habit. They are manipulative and more often than not self-centered. Let us keep you in focus at the moment. How do you feel when you come to know that you have been lied to? Some people feel foolish to have trusted the person. Some might feel taken advantage of and will not only lose faith in that person, but will hesitate to trust anyone. The victim of this constant lying develops a second nature as well. A nature to constantly doubt. Trust issues.
Well, some also feel the urge to get justice and all that one has lost while he/she was being lied to. Some go into inward thinking. How can I let someone fool me like this? Am I that dumb? Can I be deceived so easily? Who else has taken advantage of me? Don’t you lose faith in yourself because you let off your guard for someone and got stabbed royally?
Is it safe to say that even in this case, a victim of the lie is more affected than the liar himself? If this keeps happening over a period of time you lose a sense of security and it makes you weaker and obsessive about whether or not to trust people. A lot of negative thoughts creep into your head. You always live in a fear but you promise yourself that you will never fall for it again.
What do you do to find the culprit next time?
- Always share with someone when you are lied too. They will become your advocates when you have to prove something.
- If it is your loved one who has lied to you then you will always need / want them around despite the fact that they have lied to you. When you find out about their deception, talk to them and hope that things will be better.
- If you can’t handle the liar then talk to someone who can guide you. It never hurts to ask. It will save you a lot of hurt. They will help you deal with it.
- Always give behaviour more importance than appearance. Appearances are deceptive, behaviour is natural.
What should you avoid doing?
- If you see someone lying or stealing from someone else then chances are they will do the same to you some day. Report it to the person and leave the decision to them on what they want to do. You be alert about this person.
- Do not change yourself because someone has been bad to you. You do not get rid of your good habits. Remember, what goes around, comes around.
- If you have developed trust issues, try to phase it out by trusting people on small, insignificant things. One should get rid of trust issues for maintaining healthy relationships with people.
- New person? Go slow on them. Do not get into big commitments with such people. Take your time and know more before you take a major step.
In the end, one should accept that they will be lied to at some point of time in life; by their own people or a stranger. A lot depends on how you deal with it. Like I said, the victim is more affected by the lie. Trust yourself first because a lie spreads like a wild fire while truth takes time to even generate a spark.